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Husband Wanted
By Patrick Garbutt

Well, I finally decided that I'm going to try and marry off a friend.  Why, you ask?  I'll tell you!  I'm tired of being the only one in the group that's miserable.  Really though, this friend will not be on the market long.  The only reason he's not taken yet is that he's not a barfly.

Picture this, boys.  Jason (not his real name) is about 35, 6' something in height (football type) with blue eyes and a great smile.  He likes camping, boating, skiing, swimming ... actually almost anything outdoors.  Jason also has a soft romantic side to his rugged, sexy, masculine exterior.  Do you like to curl up in front of the TV on one of these cold nights with a bowl of popcorn, or maybe a bottle of wine?  He does.

Jason is also a great conversationalist. He's funny, friendly, intelligent and classy, all at the same time.  He is self-employed and independent, with a great love of family.  Oh yeah, he's a dog lover (the four legged type).

Does it all sound too good to be true?  Tell me about it.  If only this one was on the market when I was.  Do I have your interest yet?  Good!  Now this is what you need to be his type.

First you need to live in Ottawa or somewhere close to here.  You need to be between 18 and 30.  Employed with a good sense of who you are.  Independent, confident, responsible, and intelligent. Jay also loves the piano so if you can play it would be a great bonus and would put you miles ahead.  You need to send a recent jpeg.  Your jpeg has to be tasteful and not sleazy.  Along with the picture you need to send me your phone number and a letter telling me why you think you're compatible with my hunk of the week.

In other news, the weather has been downright terrible!  My nipples were so hard on my way home from work today I could have cut glass.  I walked by Mackenzie St. and could have sworn I saw a hustler with his tongue stuck to a parking meter (guess he won't advertise that way again!)  It was minus 49 tonight when I stopped at Market Station (my watering hole of choice).  It was dead on a night when it's usually busy.  I guess all of the Homo's are at home knitting ball-warmers.

I hope everyone will be up for a great evening of fun in February.  Tom, our favorite bartender at Icon, is tossing together another staff drag show and he has asked Yours Truly to do a number.  Yes, my alter ego (Miss Rita Canal) will make her first appearance in six years.  So make sure you keep you eyes and ears peeled as this may be your first and last time to see me in a dress as I hate drag.  All proceeds from the drag show, as usual, will go to charity so come out and support us.  Please leave the rotten fruit at home, thank-you.

Well folks, time to cut you loose for another week.  I 'm looking forward to getting your responses and with any luck we'll be double-dating for dinner next week.